New Humans

January 30, 2014

Dear Diary,

I feel the need to introduce myself so that when future generations research my greatness they will get a full picture of who I am.

I am Kia. I am 4.5 years old and I am fat and sassy! (Just look at my picture if you don't believe me!)

Today I have acquired myself a new set of humans. They are called Lissy and Mr. J. I think they will do rather nicely as my new servants seeing as how before I even let them take me home they were able to find some of my favorite places to be scratched. I am unamused however by the stranger who put me in a large plastic box with holes in it. She then proceeded to carry me all over the place which I find extremely unacceptable! On the plus side I made her work for it! When I got to the place where the stranger gave me to my new humans I heard them talking about my amazing 18.2 pound frame. Apparently the Seattle Humane Society is aware of how awesome us fat and sassy kitties are because they were giving my new humans $1 off for every pound I weigh. See how generous and giving I am already and we haven't even left yet!Well, they are finally taking me to my new home so I will be back later to report on their progress!


January 30, PM

I am not sure how I feel about these servants! They have trapped me in a bathroom! A bathroom! Can you believe this nonsense? This is an outrage! I am a fat and sassy goddess! I deserve squishy things to lay on and delicious treats at all times, not A BATHROOM! I overheard them saying that they wish they didn't have to leave me in the bathroom but I have to get used to where my box is, but really? How idiotic do they think I am? Of course I will be able to find my box! Well, there is at least one point in there favor, they did give me more of that delicious scratching that I love. I guess I will reserve judgement until a later date, but they had better shape up!


February 1, 2014

Well, I haven't dismissed my new servants yet seeing as how they released me from the confines of the bathroom. I am currently getting to know my new house and surroundings. I seem to have several rooms to roam about in and a ginormous bed to lounge on whenever I feel like.

I am still unsure as to what all the strange sounds are that I hear, but my humans seem to be unconcerned with them so I am leaning towards them being harmless. I think I may be able to enjoy myself in this new home, but I will stay alert to make sure there are no more of those bathroom shenanigans!