The HORROR!

February 11

Dearest Diary!

The horror! The injustice! The PLASTIC BOX! My humans have put me in the dreaded plastic box again. I am outraged! What's even worse is they then put me in the loud metal thing with wheels and then we were MOVING and it seemed to go on for EVER! They finally came to their senses and took me out of the metal thing into a strange new building. Fortunately I survived this harrowing experience by testing out a new defensive maneuver. I crawled to the back of the plastic box, burrowed under all the blankets and completely hid myself! If I can't see the horrors outside, clearly they can't see me! I figure this is a maneuver I will have to keep in my arsenal seeing as it worked and I made it to the strange new building alive and unscathed! Well, to continue on with my story it turns out the strange place is called the "Vets." Here I met another human who it seems is dedicated to my well being. (Really can a fat cat have enough humans to faun over her?) Her name is Dr. H and apparently she took care of my humans last feline master. I never got to meet this "Kitty Maow" but from what I have been able to ferret out he was much loved by all and sorely missed. I wish I could have met him seeing as how I could use a consort for my fabulousness! I will rummage through the humans things and try to accumulate a picture of him to share with you. But, I digress! Here is my new human groupie with me. (Clearly I was trying to hide from the paparazzi but they are everywhere!)

She told my humans how wonderful I am and even had her assistant come in to take photos of me (clearly the cameras love me!) The only thing that is somewhat bothersome is something she said that was rather...suspicious. I swear I heard her say the word "DIET" Clearly I am mistaken because who would want to slim down this ball of awesome?

I did see my humans purchasing multiple cans of delicious cuisine for me including several bags of "designer" treats. I think that they may even be forgiven for putting me BACK in the plastic box and BACK in the loud metal thing. At least this time we ended at home where I promptly retired to my California King sized bed to relax after such a harrowing journey! We will see how they make it up to me when I decide to grace them with my sassiness.