Dear Diary,
I am, to put it quite frankly, STARVING. I was correct in my hearing of the dreaded word "DIET." For some silly reason these humans think that I need to lose weight. How ridiculous is that? Can't they see that rounder is better? Sassy is just somehow lacking without some Fat to it! I have expressed my displeasure quite forcefully about this travesty but my humans just try to respond back in their awful version of cat speak. (I mean really just how much can one person brutally destroy a language?!?) I think this might be the doing of that doctor lady but I will have to check my resources before I make any accusations! I am unsure what I am going to do about this insanity but I am sure I will think of something. I do have to say though that it is nice to be getting the delicious canned entrees and "designer" treats. I can't be sure but I feel like after eating the treats my cold has gone away and my teeth seem much cleaner. This could just all be some strange coincidence though and I may just be getting more awesome all on my own. For now I am going to go and try to sleep so that the hours until my next meal will go by quicker. Wish me luck and food dearest diary! Woe-is-me!
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